Fire Alarms and Autoclaves...

So as many of you know, I work in a lab. Maybe you didn't know that but now you do. This is my lab...

I'm a scientist, a microbiologist actually and I work with some pretty gross stuff. A little known or thought about fact is that our "trash" is disgusting. I have used petri plates with lots of little buggers in them and pipettes and gloves and all sorts of gross stuff that needs to be disposed of when I'm done with it. And I can't just throw this stuff out with the rest of the trash cause people would DIE. Not really, but they could get sick and it would be gross and most importantly it's illegal. So there are these things called autoclaves that sterilize stuff using a combination of pressure, steam and high temperature. People in the medical field use them all the time to sterilize their surgical tools before use and we use the autoclave here to sterilize any solutions that we make or glassware or what have you. When you sterilize clean stuff, it kills off any bacteria that may have been living on it and keeps it clean until you open or touch whatever it is. And when you sterilize dirty stuff (like trash) it also kills off the bacteria so that we can then throw our trash away in a regular garbage can. As a little side note, dead bacteria smell even worse than live bacteria so it's really my least favorite part of my job. And I'm sure the people who have to carry it out hate it even worse. There's a dr. here who has an office on the same floor as me and the first time he smelled the trash being autoclaved he came out looking like he was going to vomit. And he went home shortly after that. This is a dr who has seen (and probably smelled) all sorts of stuff!! So needless to say, it's really gross. Here's what our autoclave looks like - scary, huh?

Anyhoo - back to my story! So tonight, I'm at work, I started a bag of trash in the autoclave and then went to get in out an hour or so later. When you open the autoclave, sometimes the steam will sort of billow out of the top (which just makes the whole room, your clothes, hair, everything smell bad) and that's what happened tonight. Only this particular steam must have been pretty potent cause it set of the smoke detector. I almost peed my pants. I work late at night (obviously, I'm still here!) and am in this building by myself for the most part so any loud noise is a little frightening but this smoke alarm is like ear-splitting! There are no carpets, just tile and bare floors so the screech echoes and it feels like it rattles your brain. There I am with a bag of disgusting trash in one hand, gloves on, lab coat on really wanting to drop everything and plug my ears but I can't so I put the nasty trash in the garbage can, run back to my room, take off gloves and lab coat wash my hands THEN plug my ears, grab my purse and head downstairs. From previous fire drills, I knew that my building and the building right next to mine are on the same "system" so when an alarm goes off in either building, it goes off in both. I also know from previous experience that once the alarm goes off, the fire department will definitely come. Even if we call to tell them it's a false alarm. So I went downstairs to find our handy security guard thinking he would know just what to do. I was wrong. He had no idea what to do. Luckily the hospital security heard the alarm - from a parking deck across the street mind you, it's that freakin' loud - and came over to investigate. I told him what happened and he asked me to go back up to the earsplittingly loud hallway and show him where the alarm went off and what exactly an autoclave was. So we go traipsing back up there, he walks in the room and almost throws up in his mouth I think. As I may have mentioned, it stinks. It was actually pretty funny to see a security guard trying to act tough but almost gagging from the smell. =) So we confirmed that there really wasn't a fire anywhere and when back downstairs and outside to wait for the fire department. They pulled up right as we were walking out and he made ME go and tell them what happened. The fireman just sorta rolled his eyes, chuckled and drove off. He did not however, turn the fire alarm off in the buildings. So there we are, sitting outside... did I mention that all the people still working in the other building had to evacuate as well?? And that there was a class going on?? Well they did and there was. Luckily it was kinda late and there weren't very many of them but I didn't go anywhere near them. I stayed on my little bit of sidewalk on the other side of the street trying to pretend like I had nothing to do with it. I failed miserably though because different people kept coming up to me and asking me for my name and phone number and asking me what, exactly, happened again? Sheesh. So much for layin' low. After about oh 20 min or so the alarm got turned off. We had to wait for maintenance to come from main campus to deactivate it or whatever. I slunk back into my building and up the stairs thinking it was all over. Wrong again. Our security guard AND the maintenance guy were both waiting for me, wanted a full account, my name, phone #, etc, etc. I was beginning to feel like a criminal! And all I did was open a d@mn autoclave!! And it's not over yet... they get their info and head off on their merry way, I sit down to TRY and finish up and then I get a phone call... it's the hospital security guard and he needs a bit more information to put on his report. "OK" I say, "what do you need?" "Well for starters, can you give me your height, weight, hair color, home phone # and home address?" What the!?!?! Are you kidding me?!? Am I being PUNK'd?!??! Why in the world would you need all of that information?? And why do you think I would just tell you that?? I don't even tell the dr my REAL weight, I lie on government forms about that one, why would I just give that out to an almost stranger?? I mean, we did sorta bond over the nasty smell and shrieking alarm but we're definitely not that close. So I tell him that I really don't understand why he would need that information, I'm happy to give him all of my work contact information, but I don't think he needs my home address, etc, etc. He says OK and we finish up. Jeez. I definitely felt like a criminal after all that! These could be my last words as a free person! =) So the lesson that I have learned: Empty the autoclave last thing at night and if the alarm goes off, turn off all the lights, sneak out of the building and go home.